


Status Effect

by CameoAmalthea



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 10:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2225058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CameoAmalthea/pseuds/CameoAmalthea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rufus and Tseng aren't monogamous. They never promised each other fidelity. They don't get jealous when the other takes another lover -- sometimes they even share them. But they do love each other, in their own way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Status Effect

**Author's Note:**

  * For [neomeruru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neomeruru/gifts).



Love was dangerous. As dangerous as any monster, if not more so, because unlike magic there was no remedy or foreseeable end to its effects. Love clouded reason. If you loved someone, how could you even know if what you loved was real or an illusion built up in your mind because you loved them? When you looked at someone you loved, did you see them, or the person you created, crafted from something real and a story you told yourself as your mind lingered on them, building up your adoration until it wasn’t them you loved anymore as much as a gilded version of them forged in your heart.

Rain thudded against Tseng’s umbrella as trudged through puddles that filled Edge’s streets lamplit street. It hardly ever rained in Midgar, even up-plate where seeing rain was possible, and it never smelled like this. Wet earth and plants, the rain here smelled of life instead of filth that could never be washed away. As if the rain that had fallen after Kadaj’s defeat had washed away all the stains of the past, leaving Edge clean.

Tseng took a deep breath, letting the cool, wet air fill his lungs as he tried to push his thoughts of love away. The words were nonsense, but maybe that was love as well…but how to explain that to Elena? He wondered what version of him she’d built in her head. Physical attraction, admiration, coupled with reliance and trust, mixed with whatever it was she was hoping to find in him, whatever dream she’d woven.

He never should have started this. Not with a subordinate. Not with Rosalind’s sister. Asking her to dinner, not giving her a yes, but not giving her a no, allowing this to build between them until one of these nights he wouldn’t just be holding her after she woke up screaming, but kissing every part of her. But what good could come of that? If he hurt Elena, he’d be letting them both down, and both deserved better from their director. But he couldn’t start putting walls up now. Not when she needed him to be her rock, to hold her after she woke up screaming.

He blamed himself for that as well…He hadn’t been able to protect her when they were captured by the Remnants. – She’s not Aerith, or Rufus, she’s a goddamn Turk, it’s not your job protect her! – Another voice in his head argued, but even if it wasn’t his job to protect her, there had to be something he could have done, should have done. If he’d prepared her better, if they had been better prepared for the attack in the crater, if he’d refused to let her join the Turks at all. She was pushed into the field way too soon, no training for Elena, just trial by fire and ruin.

Tseng slid his key in the door of his apartment. The light’s were on, and Rufus Shinra was sprawled on the couch.

“You’re home late,” he said. “Fun night?”

“I was with Elena,” Tseng said. “Why are you here? It’s almost three am.”

“Well how else am I supposed to see you outside of work? You’re always so busy. Now I see Elena’s taking your free time.”

“She needs me.” Tseng took a seat in the chair opposite Rufus.

“Don’t coddle her,” said Rufus, “Did Veld ever coddle you? Or any of them?”

“I’m not Veld.” Tseng was surprised to see Rufus break into a wide grin, genuine mirth shining in his blue eyes. “Is something funny?”

“No,” said Rufus, “I’m just glad you said that. You’ve really grown a lot these past few years.”

“We’ve been through a lot, and I suppose when I realized he wasn’t coming back, I let go.”

“New Shinra, new Turks,” said Rufus, “fitting enough. I’ll drink to that, shall I pour us a drink?”

“At this hour?”

“It wouldn’t have been so late if you’d come home earlier,” said Rufus.

“I wasn’t expecting you to visit, sir.”

“Rufus,” he corrected. “I’m not here for business.”

“Could have fooled me.” Tseng moved to the liquor cabinet. “You seemed quick to critique how I’m handling Elena’s recovery.”

“Ah, you’ve got me there. But is that really business, Tseng? You seeing her so often? Have I ever told you how devastated she was when we thought we’d lost you? That girl fell for you fast.”

“That was a long time ago,” said Tseng as he poured.

“And she still looks at you the same way.”

Tseng brought the drinks, and set one in front of Rufus before retaking his seat opposite. He took a sip, a half smile playing on his lips. “Are you jealous?” For some reason the idea amused him. Rufus liked to pretend not to care, as though nothing could bother him, but the idea that Rufus would be possessive of him flattered some wicked part of Tseng’s ego.

Rufus chuckled and shook his head. “I never really understood jealousy. If you have something other people want, that means it’s a good thing. Everyone wants to drive the car other people can only dream about, don’t they? Anything worth having is something other people want.”

Tseng gave Rufus a look, wondering if it occurred to him that comparing your lovers to trophy cars wasn’t entirely flattering, but he knew Rufus meant well. He liked metaphors, so it was best to stick with them. Rufus was clearly bothered by something to show up here so late, perhaps hiding his discomfort behind rational and speeches. “Yes, but if everyone can have it, then it’s not very valuable is it? What’s a car that everyone gets to drive? A rental, used?”

“Well people aren’t cars, are they? You don’t own people. You don’t have any exclusive claim on them. Even if you’re absolutely monogamous, most relationships don’t last forever, you’re one in a series of loves, all of them real enough while they last. Besides, I don’t define loyalty as exclusivity.”

“Really?” asked Tseng.

“So surprised?” Rufus yawned and took a drink.

“I’d suppose, well…I guess I assumed exclusivity was never in the picture because it wouldn’t be practical for us to have a real relationship.”

“Tseng, I’m hurt,” said Rufus, though his tone was playful. As though the conversation wasn’t serious at all, just a philosophical game of cat and mouse. “Surely you’re not saying what we have isn’t real?”

“No,” Tseng admitted, “what I feel for you is real, but it’s not something that can - ”

“I know, I know,” said Rufus, “I’ll need to marry, preferably someone useful, which is fortunately something Ms. Kisaragi and and I have in common, but I don’t want to talk about that now. I realize there will be bridges to cross when we get to them, but I’ve never been one to play by other people’s rules.” Rufus leaned across the table and kissed Tseng, the taste of liquor lingering on the kiss.

When they parted, Tseng felt a surge of warmth that had nothing to do with drinking. He smiled up at Rufus. “You prefer live life on your own terms.”

“At least by terms I’ve had a hand in negotiating and have agreed to,” said Rufus. “A relationship, romantic or otherwise, is like a contract, terms and expectations. Monogamy isn’t one of my terms. I just want you to be there.”

“When and if you marry Yuffie,” Tseng laughed, “Do you think she’d be into that, I’m a bit old for her, surely.”

“She’s not that much younger than Elena,” Rufus pointed out. “The proposal is tempting, and so is Elena, actually, though I’m not sure about her state or mixing professional relationships with personal ones, but I guess we’re all entangled now, aren’t we? But don’t laugh, I’m not entirely happy with you, Tseng.” Rufus flipped his hair back. “We’ve hardly seen each other in weeks.”

“I’m sorry if you’ve felt neglected. I thought you’d enjoy being able to have your own space again.”

The blast that had destroyed the Shinra building, and Rufus’s escape through a long chute into a subterranean panic room, had left him with a concussion and broken ribs. He had barely begun to recover when the stigma hit, weakening him, killing him bit by bit every day. Tseng had been there for him, tended him, made sure he ate and took care of himself. There had been fights, Rufus was stubborn. If Rufus physically could stand and walk, he would, even though it was painful and he was weak. They’d argued about pain medicine, Rufus insisting that the bottle said take as needed, and he didn’t need them. Better a clear head with pain than a numbed oblivion.

Sometimes Rufus could be childish. At twenty-six he still looked so young, and at time sounded like the petulant child he’d once been. A young master telling his butler he didn’t need a jacket, he wasn’t cold, even though it was snowing. Of course, when Rufus was a child, Tseng could count on hero worship to do the trick: all he had to do was point out that he was wearing his own jacket. The butler would give Tseng a grateful smile as and Rufus would rush to put on a jacket. Rufus was always eager match with Tseng, slipping into a little white suit jacket, as if the boy existed as Tseng’s little accessory. If only by saying he was wearing one. As an adult, Rufus argued with Tseng, Rufus was a man who was sure of himself and no longer blinded by admiration.

Rufus’s huff interrupted Tseng’s thoughts; Rufus was annoyed now, and not just playfully. “So you only want to see me if I need something?” asked Rufus, “I’d like to think I’d more than just a job to you?”

“For someone who claims not to understand jealousy you seem quite covetous of my attention,” said Tseng.

“It’s not jealousy, I don’t care if you spend time with other people, or in other relationships, but I do want you to spend time with me as well, even I don’t need you. Especially when I don’t need you! I want you there for no reason at all! That’s why I’m here. Can I change my answer from earlier to no reason at all, just because I like it here, and I like you?”

Tseng laughed, he liked it when Rufus was playful. Rufus seemed so young, as precocious as he had ever been, though when they were younger Rufus had never been quite so bold. As a child Rufus had looked up to him, the older boy, the Turk, the cool big brother figure Rufus had wanted to be, and later the older unattainable crush. Tseng had laughed when Rufus had told him he’d thought him so glamorous. But these idealized illusions of a teenaged boy had faded soon enough.

During Rufus’s tenure as the Turk’s captive Rufus had seen the truth of Tseng, all his uncertainty, his weaknesses, all his fear and failings. It was then that they’d began this affair, and maybe that was the heart of real love. The kind of love that went beyond not mere infatuation and false hopes, the kind that lasted, constant and unyielding: Letting someone see the parts of you that you kept hidden from the rest of the world, trusting them enough to show your vulnerabilities and flaws, and having them love you all the same. Seeing a person at the worst, as they truly were, and loving them even then.

Tseng knew Rufus Shinra, at worst and his best, and loved him. Loved him in ways he couldn’t explain. It was just the truth, and always would be, or at least he couldn’t imagine a time when that love wouldn’t be there, as though it were etched to him, as permanent as any scar.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I hope my husband doesn't mind if I stole some of our conversations and used them as inspiration in this fic. I also hope our girlfriend likes it, since Tseng/Rufus is her OTP. Mostly, I hope neomeruru is happy with the end result. I loved this prompt, there's so many things that could be done with it, some probably a lot sexier than what I wrote, but I hope this is still enjoyable.


End file.
